Just Another Dirty Little Starfleet Secret
by Delta Story
Summary: Ah, my; once more Capt. Janeway plays it by the rulebook. Guess this one explains a lot!


  
  


  
JUST ANOTHER DIRTY LITTLE STARFLEET SECRET

(Written June 2000)

Disclaimers: Hey… of course I love and respect anything from Starfleet or TPTB! Please don't throw me out of an airlock for a little bit of fun and games. The following is a lot less damaging to anyone than the episode, "Fury", was… 

~~~ 

Kathryn Janeway rushed into her ready room, face and body flushed with the realization of the latest crisis aboard Voyager raising its ominous head. Four months, one weeks and five days – that's how long they had been in this God forsaken area called the Delta Quadrant. And it didn't look like they would be getting back the friendly and familiar spaces of the Alpha Quadrant any time soon. She should have known this predicament was coming; its ugly appearance was inevitable. But, she knew that Starfleet, in its omniscient wisdom, had written some sort of directive on this situation; she just couldn't remember the exact wording. She hastened over her desk, activating the monitor screen there. 

"Computer, bring up Starfleet Protocol Manual, Chapter 42, section 19." 

"Complying," answered the _soto_ voice, followed by the barely-discernible whir of pages scrolling by. 

Janeway sank into the chair behind her desk, rubbing the swollen flesh under her weary eyes. A deep sigh escaped, as she realized that at last she could sit down, in relative peace and quiet, for at least a few minutes, even if it was to research verification of the action she had to take. The searching sounds of the computer ceased. She ran her hands down her cheeks and mouth, allowing them to come to a rest holding up her chin and began reading the words in front of her. One hand and arm extended themselves, bracing her as she completed reading the document. She finished the section, unconsciously nodding her head as she read. Her chore finished, she massaged her eyes with her fingers, sighing as she fell back into the chair. Starfleet did indeed seem to have solutions for every contingency… even those in unknowns of the Delta Quadrant. 

She reluctantly rose and exited onto the bridge, calling out over her shoulder as she walked over to the turbolift doors, "Mr. Chakotay, I'll be in sickbay. You have the bridge." 

"Are you all right, Captain?" he called out, looking up with concern. 

"I'm fine. Just have to follow through on some routine business," she answered as the turbolift doors closed. 

Chakotay nodded and went back to his monitor. 

~~~ 

"Computer, activate the EMH." 

Sparkling micropulses of electromagnetic energy lit up the space three feet in front of the captain. 

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the now-visible hologram stated with his characteristic aplomb. 

Janeway stifled a laugh at the supercilious prissiness of Voyager's doctor. Something absolutely had to be done to give him a little more consumer-friendly personality! "Well, I am not sure that you would consider this a medical emergency, doctor; but, I'm afraid that it is a predicament that could lead to a rising number of problems if not addressed quickly." She looked him directly in the eye. "Tell me, doctor. Are you familiar with all the rules of Starfleet protocol, especially those concerning deep space missions?" 

"All EMHs are programmed with the most current standards, Captain. You have but to ask and I can find them for you." 

She gave a wave of her hand. "No, no; I don't want your reference expertise; I just need your help in carrying out one of the directives listed. If you indeed do know the manual, you are aware of Chapter 42…" 

"The one addressing protocol on missions of longer than three months duration? Yes, I'm well aware of its regulatory content. After all, it is precisely on missions such as they for which my program was designed." 

She walked over to his office area, her stride and look silently inviting him to join her. "I don't need to tell you about section 19 of this chapter then, do I?" 

He followed her. "You mean the section regarding…" 

Her hand stopped him from a lengthy recitation, with which she knew he would proceed unless she stopped him. 

"Yes, that one, doctor." She paced around his desk and nervously cleared her throat, trying to decide how best to approach the situation. "In recent days, I have noticed some behavior that, if not treated quickly, could lead into situations with dire, possibly explosive, results." 

The doctor's face contorted in an animated 'humph', understanding immediately the implication of which she spoke. "Indeed. But I do not understand why you are coming to me. The rules outline a specific procedure for this problem; surely, all you have to do is give the word and the order will be carried out." 

Janeway sighed as she leaned against his desk, suddenly taking a great deal of interest in a smudge on the toe of her right boot. "You don't understand, doctor. I am part of this 'afflicted' group. Any order I give, I might be tempted to ignore myself, and that would certainly not be for the good of the ship." 

That spot on her boot was getting more and more interesting to her; her voice became almost inaudible. "What I want you to do, doctor, is to arrange for the procedure to be carried out, without my having any knowledge as to how exactly it is done. You have my complete authorization to note it in your official logs that I gave you this order, as I will do in my own records. Then, in your private logs, you may post the details if you wish." She looked up again. "This must be done… and done quickly." 

The doctor nodded. "I understand. You are aware that I will have to bring Mr. Neelix into my confidence on this?" 

"Yes. But he will be the only one, and surely he will understand. I will talk with him and tell him that whatever you two decide will have my approval." She started walking towards the door. The doctor, his curiosity certainly piqued, followed after her. 

"Um, Captain, if I may ask… why do you feel this should include you, too?" 

She stopped and turned, her laughter nervous and sinister. "That's for me to know… and for no one else to find out, doctor. And I would appreciate your keeping this part of the conversation confidential." 

"Of course, Captain," he answered, his mind already whirling with possible hypotheses. 

~~~ 

Janeway quickly made her way back to her ready room, from where she summoned Neelix and told him to expect the EMH to contact him with a project. "And, Neelix, his orders are to be followed just as if I were issuing them. They are to be carried out exactly as he says. Do I make myself clear?" 

"Yes, Captain; of course. Whatever you… er… he says." 

"Thank you," came her terse reply. "That's all for now." 

~~~ 

True to Janeway's promise, the EMH summoned Neelix to sickbay to discuss the ordered project. 

"Are you sure that's what she wants?" asked a startled Neelix when the doctor had finished his commentary. 

The doctor looked up from the busy-work in which he was attempting to be interested. "I'm only passing along what she ordered me to do. This is strictly between the two of us; no one else is ever to know. I will record our action as part of my medical log, and the rest is left up to you as to how you want to proceed with the execution of the order. Do you foresee any problems with it?" 

"No… no. It will be simple enough to take care of. But… does she really understand the repercussions of such an action? I mean… we could be years… decades… away from the end of our journey. That's a terribly long time to be…" 

The doctor nodded nervously. "Yes, yes… she is very much aware of the situation. But… any action we take now would not necessarily be irreversible. Who knows? She might even change her mind sometime along the way…" 

Neelix sighed. "Well, we can only hope. I just can't imagine not being able to…" 

"That's enough, Mr. Neelix," the EMH interrupted. "Please… I have work to do… and you most certainly do, too." 

"All right," Neelix sighed as he walked towards the door. "I just hope the captain knows what she's doing." 

~~~ 

The little Talaxian returned to the galley area of the mess hall on Voyager. He was appalled at what the doctor asked him to do… what Captain Janeway **_ordered _**him to do! But, he wanted to be a good officer aboard his adopted ship, and he knew that in order to remain in good standing with Captain Janeway, he would have to carry out her orders precisely as she had given them. 

And he knew exactly how he could carry out those orders. Why, with the hydroponics bay now being able to provide the ship with an unending supply of fresh ingredients, there would be no problem at all in serving one particular dish with weekly frequency. It was just brimming with all sorts of healthy, satisfying ingredients. It could certainly be used as an agent to carry out her request. 

He called up the recipe on his computer: 

**_Leola Root Stew_**

_3 kg fresh leola root, peeled and cubed  
4 medium Felada onions, chopped  
6 gm salt  
2 gm mixed Terrelian spices  
100 ml Terran olive oil  
12 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed  
4 Cardaway dried leaves  
1.5 liters water   
2 kg Talaxian tomatoes, peeled and chopped  
1 kg Risan beans, soaked for two hours and drained  
8 ears Takarian corn, trimmed of off the cob  
1 liter darvot broth, skimmed  
100 gm chopped Kolati hot peppers _

_Sauté leola root, onion, salt and mixed spices in olive oil in large kettle over medium heat until leola root is slightly brown and onions are soft. Add potatoes and water to the above mixture; cover and cook over medium heat until potatoes and leola root are tender. Add remaining ingredients; cover and simmer I hour, stirring occasionally. Serve over Alfarian hair pasta. Serves 18-20. _

"Computer, edit this recipe to include the following ingredient, which should be added just prior to serving: five grams of finely powdered sodium nitrate." 

He made added the recipe, including the codicil ingredient, into the food preparation databases for all personal replicators. Then, with a secretive gleeful grin, he made a mental note to always serve himself and Kes **_before_** he made this final addition. 

"Save all edits and file," he said. 

~~~ 

Now you know the secret about leola root stew, which has been served as the evening meal on Voyager every Wednesday for almost six years. 

As it has been with those in authority over large communities of normal, healthy beings over hundreds of years, Starfleet deemed it necessary to require a weekly addition of a certain ingredient to some form of food or drink served to the entire crew. This is so stated in Chapter 42, Section 19 of the Starfleet Protocol Manual: 

_"On deep space missions of a duration of three Terran months or more, commanding officers shall instruct that a libido-inhibitor be administered to each crew member weekly. This action is taken to prevent unwarranted hyperactive sexual behavior among crew members, which most assuredly would occur on missions of such length and could have adverse effects on the outcome of operations of such missions. The method of choice is left to the discretion of each commanding officer, although the most cost-effective and expedient procedure is one that has existed for generations: the addition of sodium nitrate to food or beverage. The recommended dosage is 0.25 gram per person per week. Further, it shall be at the discretion of the commanding officer if such additives are deemed necessary for senior officers of the vessel."_

Ah, yes! Good old salt peter… still around and performing its age-old job, even into the far reaches of the Delta Quadrant, and long into years the 24th century… 

  
The End! ;-) 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
